[NYTr] Univ of Illinois: The Chief Illiniwak Spectacle!
 
Date: Sat, 8 Sep 2007 17:46:30 -0500 (CDT)

Via NY Transfer News Collective  *  All the News that Doesn't Fit
 
See also:

The Racist Mascot: Why You Should Boo Illinois (4/02/2005)
http://blythe-systems.com/pipermail/nytr/Week-of-Mon-20050328/015117.html

The Racist Mascot: Why You Should Still Boo Illinois 8/26/2007
http://blythe-systems.com/pipermail/nytr/Week-of-Mon-20070820/067166.html

sent by Francis A. Boyle - Sep 7, 2007

Script for the Chief Illiniwak Spectacle!

produced by Francis A. Boyle
Professor of Law

So here we are at Memorial Stadium on a beautiful Fall  Saturday
afternoon during the Michigan-Illiniwak Football Game. There are 77,000
drunken fans here and the game is covered nationwide and live by CBS
TV. For the drunken fans on the radio, Jim Turpin of the News-Gazoo/
WDWS Illiniwak Media Empire attempts and fumbles the play-by-play
calls. It is half-time. Time for the Chief Illiniwak Spectacle. So here
goes:

1. The Marching Illiniwak Drum/Dumb Corps take the field at Memorial
stadium and proceed to strike up the special Illiniwak drumbeat that I
had previously composed for them, all saying in unison over the
gigantic stadium sound speaker system:

dumb,dumb,dumb,dumb

This special dumb-beat continues ad nauseam throughout the performance.

2. Now, out comes the rest of the University of Illiniwak's "Marching
Illiniwak" band and strikes up the music for the famous pop song "The
Lion Sleeps Tonight."

3. Then, out comes the University of Illiniwak's Glee Club and sings my
song "The Chancellor Sleeps Tonight" over a special
microphone/amplification system fed through the gigantic stadium
speakers so that everyone can hear the magnificent lyrics:

The Chancellor Sleeps Tonight 

by Francis A. Boyle

Hush my Illiniwaks , my little Illiniwaks, the Chancellor Sleeps
Tonight! Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Hush my Illiniwaks, my quiet Illiniwaks, the Chancellor Sleeps Tonight!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!
Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak,
Illiniwak,Illiniwak,Illiniwak. Illiniwak, 
Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak,
Illiniwak,Illiniwak,Illiniwak. Illiniwak, 
Oh! Bee Wah do do do do ay. 
Oh! Bee Wah do do do do  ay. 
The Mighty Chancellor Sleeps Tonight!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 

The Glee Club repeats these lyrics ad nauseam throughout the Chief
Illiniwak Spectacle!
 

4. Next the Marching Illiniwaks execute their famous "Three-in-One"
Illiniwak March.

5. Now the most electrifying moment in sports history: Little Red Sambo
Himself, Chief Illiniwak, runs through the band, pops out, and does his
little jig at mid-field.

6. Finally, all 77,000 people in the stadium begin to chant in unison
and in time with the band and the Glee Club, adding in for
emphasis,support, and of course dignity, their "Tomahawk chops":

Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak,
Illiniwak,Illiniwak,Illiniwak, Illiniwak,
Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak,
Illiniwak,Illiniwak,Illiniwak,Illiniwak,
Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak, Illiniwak,
Illiniwak,Illiniwak,Illiniwak, Illiniwak,

Repeated ad nauseam.

This magnificent "Chief Illiniwak Spectacle" will of course  be shown
nation-wide to an audience of tens of millions of football fans and
admirers of our "flagship" State University in the Great State of
Illiniwaks: The University of Illiniwaks at Urbana-Champaign! Home of
the the Marching Illiniwaks Band and their Official Mascot, Chief
Illiniwak, Little Red Sambo Himself. Certainly the type of University
you want to send your children to--unless they are Native American,
African American, Asian American, or Latino/a.

F.A. B.

(c) Copyright 1997 and 2007 by Francis A. Boyle. All Rights Reserved.
 
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